


Tough Guys Can't Cry

by upintheattic



Category: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Character Study, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, If You Squint - Freeform, Love Confessions, M/M, Romantic Friendship, Short & Sweet, Tags Are Hard, The Outsiders (1983) - Freeform, i guess?, johnny comforts dally, mutual love feelings, that's it like it's very straight forward, they love each other but dont know how say it, this is old but I still like it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:40:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28846941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/upintheattic/pseuds/upintheattic
Summary: Most days Johnny walks alone, he doesn't want be home and he doesn't want bother his friends. Usually he could ask Ponyboy to join him but he likes the time to think to himself, it let's him reflect on things, like how close he is with his gang of friends. But tonight is a little different when he bumps into Dallas at the empty lot where some feelings get revealed.
Relationships: Johnny Cade/Dallas Winston
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	Tough Guys Can't Cry

**Author's Note:**

> if you see me posting an outsiders fanfic in the 2021 uhh no you didnt <3  
> my outsiders tumblr blog is transsteverandle there’s some old but good stuff there  
> [warning: there is a single use of the words f*g, fairy, and flaming but it's only in passing and isnt used aggressively. i am mlm]

Johnny has seen all of his gang members cry at one point, except for Dallas Winton but that’s to be expected from a guy with his track record. You don’t see guys like that cry so easily. 

Still, Johnny wondered on his walk home, what would make a guy like Dally just vulnerable enough for him to do it? Who would he even trust to do it in front of, if anyone at all? Did he even know how to cry? It was probably a weird thing to think about.

But the more he thought about all his other friends, he thought maybe Dallas just plain forgot how to cry. He knew Ponyboy thought that way about Two bit and Steve but Ponyboy doesn’t really know everything like he pretends to do. 

Sure, there was no question they’re both tuff guys but that didn’t mean there weren't times when they broke down in harsh sobs. Johnny supposes Ponyboy wouldn’t be around for moments like that, he was still just a kid after all. 

Johnny thinks back to the first time he’s seen Two bit cry, his dad had just left him and his mom when he was no older than ten. The last time was when the Curtis' parents had died. Then again, everyone but Dallas and Johnny himself had cried themselves raw and red over their deaths. 

He felt awful about the whole thing, he’d loved the two more then his own parents and he felt silly for not being able to show it emotionally like the others. Even Dallas got angry and violent about it, everyone knew just how torn up he was about it, there hadn’t been a need for tears to show it. Johnny remembers how Two bit voice got real low and scratchy when he cries, maybe Dally cried the same way.

Or maybe he was like Steve who cried softly and with only the peering eyes of Sodapop or Darry or Johnny. Honestly, he was surprised to be one of the few trusted to see that side of Steve. He still believes it was meant to be an accident but there was no doubt the look Steve was really worked up about his dad who had beaten and kicked him out again that week. 

Steve was telling him about the whole ordeal and Johnny could tell when Steve was going to start crying when he heard him whisper “He blamed me for why she’s gone. He really blamed me for ma not being here anymore…. Like I wanted to be born. The bastard.” Then the floodgates were open. 

Johnny remembers hugging him and wondering why Steve went to him. Why didn't he go to Sodapop about it? Even thinking that, Johnny secretly appreciated it. It felt like a sign that Steve actually saw them as close friends. Johnny wished he hugged him tighter for it.

When the thoughts eventually reached the Curtis brothers Johnny had one opinion: they sure were a bunch of criers. Now, he means that in a very fond way. He likes knowing that there were still boys on this side of town who remembered how to cry and felt deeply and strongly about something other than fighting or booze or girls or just avoiding getting beat or arrested. It was a nice change of pace. 

Especially Ponyboy and Sodapop who were the two most sensitive guys you could meet on this side of town. Sodapop was definitely the family’s crybaby but that’s not saying much if Johnny was honest. They didn’t cry over spilled milk, but it was still more than the average greaser.

Johnny remembers Sodapop crying about his first heartbreak and then his second and third. He remembers him crying as a kid whenever he had to use that stuff that burns to clean cuts and when he got his front teeth knocked out by a football.

He remembers him crying when he dropped out (although it was much more personal than he realized at the time), and he remembers him crying about his parents. 

Johnny always felt bad because he knew Sodapop felt real deeply about these things, enough to cry over it and when it came to the gang he was never ashamed to cry. 

Maybe around Dallas but that was just because he wasn’t the teary-eye, comforting sentimental type anyways. Dallas never seemed to judge him though.

Ponyboy isn’t as much of a crier as Sodapop but he could get close to it. Like everyone else Johnny doesn’t mind him at all. He likes the kid plenty and he’s still just that, a kid. He should still be allowed to cry but it’s good he doesn’t jump at the chance either, if anything Ponyboy tries his hardest not to cry. 

Johnny thinks it started around when his parents died and all he did was cry, not that anyone blamed him. Maybe he was all out of tears or, at least, he sure wanted to be. Ponyboy probably felt like he was too old to cry and needed to stop. Johnny wasn’t too sure but knowing him it was likely.

He knew for sure that Darry probably felt too old and too responsible to ever stop and cry. He'd seen him cry very little at his parents’ funeral, but he was just playing tough older brother cause he saw him break down at home. 

Johnny hadn’t really meant to see it, but he patted him on the back and told Darry he still has the gang and brothers with him. Johnny hoped that somehow it helped, even just a little, but he was never sure about those things. It seemed he had a habit of finding people crying, you’d think it’d make him better at comforting them though.

Even when it came to himself, he hadn’t even done much crying in the past. Likely without completely realizing it, he was one of the boys that forgot how to cry; crying just made beating worse and besides he knew boys that took it harder. So why should he cry? 

A weird standard he never thought for his friends, he noticed. His friends had only seen him cry when he was beaten near an inch of his life. He hadn’t meant to then and he wished he hadn’t either. 

It felt pitiful and awful and probably made everyone even more concerned or scared that he was dying, but he doesn’t let himself think about it either. There wasn’t any point in dwelling on it.

Looking up he could tell it was getting dark out and late enough that he knew his parents would be asleep, but something caught his eye while passing the lot. 

Dallas sat on one of the old car seats that laid close to a bin used for trash fires, walking over he could see Dal smoking a cigarette looking up at the sky. When the older greaser noticed him he smiled and said coolly; “Hey johnnycakes, come and take a seat” and motioned to the spot next to him. 

He sat down without hesitation, Dallas put his arm around him and Johnny could feel his heartbeat in his chest. It wasn’t a bad night, the stars were small but the bright moon made for something nice to look at. 

It wasn’t unusual to be thinking and walking for hours to just end up here in the lot, alone with his friend sitting and saying very little. Not that they needed to say much. They’re usually quiet and close whenever it’s just them, so it’s not surprising for Dallas to wait a few minutes before saying anything else.

“It’s late y’know. You can lay back if you want.” It was a nice way of telling Johnny not to be so stiff and he took the offer, resting his head on the other boy’s shoulder. 

Johnny couldn’t deny himself that he’s had dreams like this and he’d be lying that they didn’t lead to something much more than just falling asleep. He wasn’t ready to admit that just yet though. Not out loud, at least.

Time had moved slowly, it felt, and the two of them talked softly back and forth but it had already been late enough for Johnny to finally feel tiredness wash over him. He felt guilty for almost falling asleep while Dallas was talking to him, just barely hearing him at this point. 

He knew the mention of Dallas’s dad came up and that he was completely kicked out of the house for something Johnny couldn’t recall in his sleepy state. Just that it got Dal worked up. 

Granted, it wasn’t the first time Dallas had been kicked out of the house, but it seemed this time it was serious and he really truly wasn’t going to be welcomed back again.

“My old man said he doesn’t want some good for nothing fairy living in his house. Like I want to live in a place like that. I don't need him shouting at me all time- telling I’m some worthless flaming piece of shit.” Dallas was half rambling but seemed genuinely angry about the whole ordeal. If Johnny hadn’t been so tired he would’ve put two and two together.

It was probably the maddest Dallas ever got over his dad, he didn’t usually get so worked up about the guy. Honestly before now Dally never really seemed to care about his folks at all. 

“Sometimes,” Dallas added lowly. “I want to ride the old truck right off a cliff. Maybe he’ll care about me when I’m dead. Shit, he’d probably be glad if that happened.” There was a bitter laugh at the end that woke Johnny up a little more.

It scared him to hear a friend talk like that, even if he felt similarly most days. “Hey now, don’t go talking like that. You know me and the gang would miss you, man.”

Dallas puts the butt end of his cancer stick in the ground and holds Johnny a little closer. “Yeah, right. Not when they find out I’m some no good fag.” 

“Hell, I ain’t any different from you. I doubt they’d care. I know Ponyboy won’t.” He isn’t sure why he could come out so easily to the older boy, he was always so open with Dal and he was too tired to think about his words more carefully. It didn’t matter, Dal would never hurt him over anything. He was more than safe. Dally’s leg bounced nervously next to his making the car seat creak a little. 

“Maybe,” if Dallas was surprised by Johnny’s coming out he didn’t show it. “Y’know, Johnnycakes, I like you a lot.”

“I like you plenty too, Dal.” Johnny’s voice is soft and a little scratchy from the cigarette he had earlier but he means every word. There was a strange twisting feeling in his stomach and his face was too warm. “Hell, you’re really important to me, man. I’d go crazy without you around so quit talking about jumping off cliffs, got it?”

That’s when it happened. Dallas had tears running down his face for the first time in years. It scared Johnny fully awake and he sat up to instinctively hold Dal's shoulders, hugging him tight like he had done to his other friends. Somehow this felt different though.

Johnny could feel all the tension in Dal’s body release like he’s been holding this in all these years, and maybe he had. All Johnny understood in the moment was Dallas Winton was sobbing softly into his shoulders, he noted the way Dal would hiccup in between breaths; and it was then that Johnny knew his answer. Along with learning a few other things, but that could wait ‘til morning; right now he was comforting a friend.

**Author's Note:**

> truly i love the outsiders and have for maaannnnyyy years but i havent really been active in the fandom anymore cause its kinda dead i guess plus i've run out things to say but i found this in my drafts and a part me still really likes it. enough that i didnt want delete it so i figured posting it here wouldnt be that bad. since it is old the writing is a little messy but its not awful. im mostly just feeling nostalgic


End file.
